It Started With A Song

Disclaimer:If this sounds raw its because I wrote this on my lunch break during my fast in March.  If you feel like this post speaks to you please email me or leave a comment so I can pray for you and keep you updated for when our fast starts.

What are you afraid of? For me the breaking of a soul tie started with a theme song and a word for the year. That was in 2015 and my theme song was Robert Glasper's Trust featuring Marsha Ambrosius, and while it may sound like she was singing to a man I imagined I was singing it to Jesus. And so I would sing "put me back together and mend my heart" only watching their live performance on YouTube.When I heard the real song and heard John P. Kee talking at the end of the song, oh I just about lost it, especially because I was in such a broken place and in such a mentally spiritually and physically abusive relationship. Little did I know I would get oh so more broken before God fixed me . At the end of 2015 my lover off and on of 10 years banged my head into a wall, kicked,  punched and tried to strangle me. So broken, I was already drinking everyday and had no idea what to do with myself. I drove to a police station and sat outside crying for 30 minutes. The officer told me I could not have the man arrested without pressing charges and then I started thinking about his family. And so I drove home crying hysterically. I asked my Dad what I should do and he told me to go to work. What followed was a 5 hour break down at work in front of coworkers and customers. I was done, officially broken and ready for God to put me back together and mend my heart. I started another 21 day fast on January 5th 2016 and that was it for me I haven't took a drink since. I haven't seen that man who I used to think the earth spent for since December 18th and I'm ok with that. So for now let's start with a theme song. Things will get deeper later. My theme song for this year is Marsha Ambrosius Lose myself. Because it's true I had to go absolutely stark raving mad 😜 before my eyes were open to the fact that until I loved God with all my heart I would never love myself enough to have a healthy relationship. So I'm getting back to Angie and loving and getting to know who I am in Christ. What about you? What's your theme song?